Finally, an update.

Abner Harris is ONE YEAR OLD!

My lil cutie, grow up well. Mummy loves you, plenty.

The day after, present opening!

:)

UH. He's awake now.

Got to go.

Till then, shall update again.

My Breastfeeding Journey

I have decided and prepared myself to breastfeed Mr. Abner way before he was born.

Spending time researching on breastfeeding, learning all the do's and don'ts, preparing my mind for the tiredness and stress, shopping for necessities, etc. Breastfeed is something so natural, yet it wasn't that 'natural' as so much preparation is required. 

Breastfeeding knowledge doesn't come naturally with the baby.

The first breastfeeding equipment i bought is my Ameda dual pump. Bought it before I gave birth as I know that I won't have the luxury of time to go pump-shopping once Abner is here. The reason why I bought Ameda is because it is really affordable. I think i paid $399 for it. There are cheaper pumps out there but the reviews for those are not as good as Ameda. Manual pump is never on my mind because it is really troublesome. Single pump is also out as it means you require double the time to pump. So something mid-range with good reviews, Ameda is it. Was considering Medela PISA too but I find it not worthwhile to spend so much since I am not going to have a second child and I wasn't even sure if I am capable of breastfeeding my son. Reading about low milk supply doesn't help. Having my mum telling me that she doesn't have enough milk to breastfeed when she gave birth doesn't help either.

Next, i bought Organic Moringa Tea. 

Read about how it has helped nursing mums with milk supply so i decided to give it a try. Started drinking it (replacing my normal water intake) when I was at week 35 since it is nourishing too. The other supplement i bought was Fenugreek from GNC. I made use of my birthday voucher from GNC to get 3 bottles, more than enough to drown myself with fenugreek pills after giving birth. 

As for milk bags, I bought Nanny milkbags from an online seller after doing research that Nanny's quality is good. But after breastfeeding my boy for almost a year, I realise that some other milkbags are good too - like Avent (cheap!) and Farlin (cheap too). One thing I'm quite anal about is that I will avoid getting milkbags that requires you to write the date/time/etc of the stored milk directly on the bag where the pouch is. Call me paranoid but I don't wanna risk having ink seeping through the plastic and contaminate my milk. There are no issues with Nanny, Avent or Farlin as the details are written either on the extension or on a separate sticker. 

Seems like I'm all prepared!

The day Abner is born, I didn't get to latch him on immediately as I went through emergency c-sec and i was on GA. After all the chaos and when I was back in my ward, I do remember one of the nurse came to ask if I want to start breastfeeding my son. I think it was around 2am? I was still weak and has not recovered from the GA. I can hardly keep my eyes open.. So i told the nurse that I will start breastfeeding in the morning. As much as I know how important it is to latch my baby on after delivery but I don't want to risk dropping or hurting him. To be safe, i decided to rest.

Milk supply did not kick in the next morning. Abner latched well, in fact, very well according to the lactation consultant. But within an hour after latching, he started crying for milk again. This is when stress kicks in. I was glad that I didn't have much visitors. I was glad that my parents only come to the hospital when I discharge (not because they don't care, but they were busy preparing at home and I stayed 1 day lesser than normal csec mummies as I gave birth at 11pm, so between 11pm to 12midnight it was considered a day in ward. My gynae asked if I want to extend 1 more day but I rejected. I just wanna go home.) so most of the time I was alone and have nobody to tell me "eh you got no milk ahhhh". I am okay with formula so I told the nurse to top-up Abner with formula if he cries for milk after latching, and bring him to me again when it is time for the next feed.  

Back at home, I continued with the schedule when we were in hospital. 3 hourly feed, latch first and top up with formula after that. I was quite uncertain with the amount Abner is drinking from direct latch as I was still unsure with my supply. So topping up with formula gives me some sort like a sense of security that my boy is not starving.  

The day I was discharged from hospital, i started taking fenugreek. 2 pills x 3 times a day. Ignore the dosage on the bottle (it wrote 1 a day if I didn't remember wrongly). To increase milk supply, you gotta UP the dosage.  

I started pumping on day 3, after latching my son and feeding him with formula. He never fails to poo after every feed so while waiting for him to poo, I pump. 

I did power-pumping (learnt it from other mummies), but before pumping, prepare a cup of hot milo/cereal. First, pump for 10 minutes. Start with a comfy suction on full speed, then slowly increase the suction to somewhat not as comfy but won't make you feel pain or uncomfortable. After 10 minutes is up, stop. Rest for 5 minutes and sip milo/cereal. Then pump again for 5 minutes on full speed at the increased suction. Stop. Rest for 5 minutes and sip milo/cereal again. Repeat this till you have pumped around 3 sets, roughly 30 minutes. It is fine if your initial yield is very little. I started with only like 30 ml per pump.

So after pumping, I will change Abner before washing his bottles and my pump parts. If I am lucky, I get to rest for 30 mins or an hour before it is time for his next feed again.

So basically, my life runs on a 3-hr cycle.

Latch Abner - Formula feed - Pump - Change Diaper - Wash Bottles & Parts (and rest if possible) - Latch Abner.... and the cycle repeats. 

This cycle never stops. Even in the middle of the night, I will still pump every 3 hourly.

11pm, 2 am, 5am, 8am, etc etc etc.

I was pretty amazed by my determination, seriously. 

And i guess drinking chicken essence everyday helps to give me energy.

By the 5th day of giving birth (3rd day of pumping), I am able to fully breastfeed Abner and slowly replaced formula with expressed breastmilk. Meaning I latch him and top up with expressed breastmilk instead of formula, and continue to pump every 3 hourly.

With perseverance and determination, I manage to pump 2L per day.

Definitely an oversupply as Abner wasn't able to drink so much.

So I started freezing them.

My 3-hour cycle goes on till Abner was about 2 months old. I have to return to work, so I gotta start dragging my pump to 4-hourly, then 5-hourly, then 6-hourly, to 3 times a day.

It wasn't easy with the schedule all mixed up and I have to factor in rest time too. 

But I am glad that I did it.

To avoid fluctuation and confusing my boobs as to produce milk or not, I stopped latching him in the day.

So it became bottle-feeding expressed breastmilk (and everyone else can help to feed him so I get to rest) and latching on at night (so I can latch him directly without having to wake up to warm his bottle). Initially when i changed to this schedule, I will still wake up to pump after latching him at night. But slowly, I dropped my night pump too. My last pump was around 11pm and my next pump would be around 6am.

A month before I returned to work, I started introducing frozen expressed breastmilk (febm) to Abner so he is able to get used to the taste. Febm will taste a little 'fishy' and some babies will reject it. I started by mixing with ebm and slowly increased the proportion. Abner took it well. 

Since then, I will use 1 pack of febm a day and freeze ebm that was expressed the day before.   

Managed to drop to pump 3x a day when I return to work.

7am, 3pm and 10pm, yielding around 1.3L a day, which is enough for kiddo.

It was only till recently when I changed job that I started to drop to pumping 2x a day.

Supply dropped to around 700ml but as Abner's drinking dropped too, it is still enough.

Few more weeks to Abner's first birthday. 

I am proud to say that I have succeeded in breastfeeding my baby for his first year.

I am glad that I am able to be so organised when it comes to this.

Even my mum was surprised by my milk supply and she is very proud to reply that Abner is a fully breastfed baby when others ask if he is on formula or breastmilk.

It wasn't easy. It is really hard work - even before the baby is here.

Mummies out there who are really keen to breastfeed your baby, be prepared. 

In fact, be very well-prepared and do your research, etc.

And be really hardworking and determined. 

It ain't gonna be easy. It is very tiring. It is very taxing.

But it is also very rewarding.

It is definitely a great bond to share with your baby.

No matter what, don't give up!

My stash when Abner turns 11 mth old. 

My baby is growing so fast. Less than a month to his first birthday!

He is able to handle grapes really well, and yes, I let him self-feed with grapes.

He will either put the whole grape in if it is small enough or chew into half if it is too big.

Then he will spit the skin out after chewing off the flesh, like how adult will spit the seed out after eating orange, etc. Super cute to see him eat.  

Brought him to swim this morning and he totally enjoyed himself. He even tried to imitate how adults swim by putting his head in and out of the water. Hahaha.

Shall end my post here.

Have a nice weekend!

:)

Hectic Life

Finally an update. Why so long? Because life has been hectic and too 'exciting'.

If you are wondering how is the meet-up with his god-mummy as mentioned in my previous post, it was super tiring and omg. 

Mental note to self : When bringing Mr. Abner out with someone else other than his caregiver (my mum), never go to restaurants. He was climbing here and there, trying to reach out for everything on the table, etc etc. He managed to sit in the baby high chair for a few minutes though and ate a few bites of pear which I prepared earlier on for him, but that's it. In the end his god-mummy gotta risk having him wailing like mad (normally he will cry out loud when someone who he doesn't really know well carry him) and bring his for a walk so I can eat my meal. Surprisingly he didn't cry. Only started crying for mummy when he saw me from a distance. Maybe he knows that mummy needs to eat and god-mummy loves him too. He seldom get to meet her, so I was quite surprised when he was ok and didn't reject her.

So, my short holiday ended in the blink of an eye and I started my new job.

I enjoyed staying at home and be with Mr. Abner 24/7, but I can't do that forever. Honestly, I am kind of glad that I am still working (besides the fact that I need to provide for myself and my son because we have nobody to depend on). It serves as a break from the active kiddo, and at 25, I am not ready to be a full-time SAHM. Yes, cooking for my beloved son, taking care of him, watch him smile, watch him grow and watch him hitting his milestones are things that I enjoy. But at 25, I am still not ready to give up my life, my dreams and the things that I wanna achieve. Not that I am selfish and only think for myself. Just that after having Mr. Abner, my life, my dreams and the things I wanna achieve are all related to him. 

I am working hard for him, and I love that feeling.

That was what I have been busy with.

Brought Mr. Abner out to a friend's baby full month celebration just now. 

Attending celebrations (bb full months, kids' birthdays, weddings, etc) like this always give me a mixed feeling. Am happy for the joyous occasion (duh, of cuz) but part of me feels guilty and sorry as Abner can never have such celebrations with both his daddy and mummy around like other kids. The self-reproaching feeling that I failed to give him a complete family stays deep in my heart.

他没其他孩子幸福。     

Especially when i see how other daddies can love and care for their child, I wonder why Abner's dad can be so selfish to sacrifice his own son for his own benefits and comfort while telling me that he loves him. BS. 

Grr. 

Holding my baby in my arms just like when he was a newborn. Big boy now.

Counting down to his first birthday. Can't wait.

Hope he is able to walk by then. He walked 6 wobbly steps by himself without holding on to anything just now. My heart almost stopped when I watched him did that. Luckily he was in his play yard with the mat. I can't imagine if he do that on the hard floor.

  Abner drinking his milk while mummy does her pump.

I put in damn lot of effort to total-breastfeed my son. Seriously. Pumping on-the-dot every 3 hours, setting alarm in the middle of the night to wake up so i won't miss my pump, dragging myself up after only a mere few min of shuteye.. those were the days. Slowly, my milk supply was established. Then it got too much that it was an oversupply. Till now, pumping just twice a day and clearing my febm, storing febm once every few days.

I remember when his dad was still here after he was born. When I insisted on doing my pump in the middle of the night, what I got was "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SLEEP? WHY MUST YOU MAKE YOURSELF SO TIRED?" I think he said something like "you wanna pump, go ahead. I can't be bothered anymore" too, if i didn't remember wrongly. I felt so frustrated hearing that. He knew nothing about breastfeeding, nor does he knew anything about newborn babies, and he didn't even bother to read up or do any research prior to Abner's birth. 

Now i know how to answer that question. 

"Because I want the best for my son, and I am willing to work hard for it, and get it for him no matter what." 

Love the way he feed himself. Messy messy, but so cute!

Counting down!

Mummy Vickii is a SAHM, for 6 days.

Ended my work with the auction firm and I am (finally) currently in between jobs. Welcoming this short break with open arms and a big wide smile. Finally, I can stay at home and be with Mr. Abner!

Brought him to the playground on my first jobless holiday morning.

Mummy Vickii "Abner Abner, look at mummy!"

Abner loves to touch small holes or circles. 

He enjoys sticking his finger into the holes or poke those circles.

He's also drooling a lot!

Like a loose tap. 

Packed my room in the afternoon and it was tough with the boy sticking to me like superglue. 

Kept wanting to be with me and refusing anyone else. I got no choice but to let him be in the room while I wipe and clean. Luckily it wasn't that dusty. He was so excited because the room looked different with the mattresses and his playmat out. Crawled here and there, touched this and that, clapped and clapped, babbled babbled and laughed. Haha. Cute max. 

Ended my first day of holiday by bringing Mr. Abner, my mum and my cousin out to MOF at Tampines One for dinner. Surprisingly Abner is willing to sit in baby highchair! All along he refused to sit in one. Always wanted to be carried or he will cry and try to climb out of it.

I think he's attracted to the ice cream. xP

Mr. Abner clapping happily with a plastic bag in his hands.

  

Ordered Tamago maki for him. He's ok with egg and is not allergic to it. 

He only ate a few mouths since he's not a big fan of rice and it's his first try with sushi, but I'm still happy for his willingness to try. Gave him toddler fork and spoon and he tried to poke and scoop the maki, but still, he ended up eating with his little hands. Nice try anyway. 

Things got a little messy when ice cream came. He got excited that he reached for the dessert spoon (in fact, he's the first to grab hold of it) and tried to scoop the ice cream. He can't eat ice cream so I gotta stop him. That was when he started whining and my mum got to carry him out while waiting for me and my cousin to finish the ice cream (it was nice, btw).

Total bill was around $70. Not bad - food-wise and environment-wise. Maybe because it was a week

day evening so it wasn't crowded at all.    

That pretty much concluded the Day 1 of my SAHM experience.

Day 2 - Today

Brought kiddo and my mum to McDonald's for breakfast (my favourite)!

My mum had the wholegrain Chicken McMuffin, I got myself a sausage McMuffin and kiddo got happy meal.

And yes, he sat in baby highchair again (yayness) and tried to feed himself using a fork (again, but still unsuccessful). The hotcake always manage to escape/drop/fly away before it reaches his mouth. So he decided to put his fork down on his lap (he didn't drop it, but really meant to put it there. I saw it and thought that it was quite interesting, don't ask me why), and used his fingers to eat.

Now he's taking his nap and I just finished my pump. Gonna bring him out to meet his god-mummy later on. I hope all go well.

Treasure-hunted.

Every morning when I go to work, I just grab my bag and go after I have gotten ready. Usually all the things I need - wallet, phone, Note 8, keys and ezlink are in so I don't have the habit of looking into my bag before I leave my house.

So as usual, I grabbed and went this morning, but what I found in my bag when I was on the train ain't that usual. 

Feel like laughing out loud when I found this. Mr. Abner has 'packed' this into my bag while ransacking it when I was pumping the other night. Apparently he packed a portable charger into my bag too. 

"heh heh heh, mummy's wallet is in my hands!"

All ready to kiss the tv. 

I'm pretty much stuck in the position of pumping whenever I am doing my pump. So Abner is free to do whatever he wants, as long as it is not dangerous (or I have to stop my pump and stop him). Normally a "No, Abner. Stop it." works very well. He will look at me and explore something else instead. 

My room is pretty much in a mess. Shall tidy it up asap (and baby-safe it even further) so there won't be any more 'treasure-hunting' in the future. 

Or should I look forward to what I might find next? lol.

Abner goes swimming!

Bought Abner to the pool to swim and as always, he's very very happy.

Started bringing him to the pool when he was 7 month old. His virgin experience ain't that great. He cried through and only stopped for awhile to splash the water. Didn't have the chance to dip him into the water without clinging on to me. But look at him now! Today he even tried to swim off by himself (normally I'm the one who initial to move him). He even went underwater for a few times. Am pretty amazed by the rate babies learn new stuff. Super fast!

Wanted to take a few pictures at the pool, but he got tired really soon.

Baked Cranberry White Choc Chip cookies yesterday. Shall upload the pic later.

:)

UPDATES

(Should rotate the photo but aiya, I'm lazy. lol)
Measuring scoops and spoons from Daiso. $2 only and they're in cups (the unit) so I don't have to do conversion all the time. Nice! 

Cranberry and white choc chips.

Ta-da! So yummylicous that I ate a lot.. damn lot.

And so, I spent my Saturday afternoon baking (as above), and cooking (as follow) as well.

Home-cooked tomato + pear + basil pasta.
No sugar no salt.

Finally

Finally l am able to rest.

Time check : 00:36 

Tired, but weekend is here!

Went to buy thumbdrive just now specially to store Abner's photos. I don't really like the digital era. Prefer to have the photos developed (alright, that is the traditional term, when all photos are not printed by printers but developed in dark rooms. Should use the word 'printed' now) and stored in photo albums. I have one, but still, it's good to keep the soft copy safe. Now all I need is to find time to do the back-up.

Gonna get my beauty sleep.

Gonna bring Abner for a swim later on.

Gonna bake cookies!

I ♡ weekends.